How to Pick up Girls for Beginners

Gone are the days when you could woo a girl by walking up to her and saying: “Your face looks familiar.” or use an opening line like “Excuse me, what’s the time?” Wooing or toasting has gotten much more complex than that, females have evolved and so should your approach and your lines. Females are much more open to directness now cushioned with a lot of cash. We live in the “20Flirt” century so as a guy, you have to adapt to the new skirt chasing habitat.

If you are having problems approaching girls, here is a word of advice; the name of the game is confidence, loads of it. Forget your height and looks, all you need to do is flash a little cash and have a honey-coated tongue. Read this blog and see your game change forever. Downside is that a lot of females would be reading this and would try to make it tougher for you. I am sorry about that.

For the sake of simplicity, I would draw out scenarios of the best and in some cases, oddest places to pick up girls and techniques you could use in charming the pants off them. Here is your apple of knowledge, take a munch.

The Airport

Believe it or not but the airport is one of the best places to pick up girls. Not only in romantic movies do lovers finally reunite, kiss and live happily ever but there is more to it. There is this feeling of peace when you are on a plane, there’s a real feeling of being closer to God in the sky that makes a lot of females giddy, you have to take advantage of that. Picking up girls at the airport or on a plane is very time-conscious; you have to be on the very top of your game. Every syllable spewed forth from your mouth must count and who knows you might even join the mile-high club during the flight-don’t let’s get ahead of ourselves though.

Technique

Like Wizkid crooned “No time for long thing...” You have got to adopt that mentality and move like a shark that just sensed a prey, a lion that just sighted a zebra’s ass. Airports have this busy atmosphere and you have got to blend in. To get chicks at the airport, you have to dress well less be mistaken for an attendant, you have to be on your A-Game with your conversation, every syllable must count. If possible, arrange for both of you to sit together or switch seats if you have to. You have more leverage/time during international flights but local flights demand you get to know the girl quickly and leave an impression. Finally, leave with genuine contact details. If she gives you her number, pin or whatever, make sure it does work. Believe me, you don’t want to be given fake details, it’s like pissing in the wind.

The Church

An open secret among the male folk is never pick up girls at the Church. Why? Because it is assumed most of the girls especially those in their mid-twenties or older are all washed up, have probably done a lot of lewd stuff in their hood and now looking for salvation and most importantly a maga husband in the House of God. Females in church have these religious mien in God’s house but if you can penetrate their halo, verily,verily, I say unto you, a vixen would be unleashed upon you. The clingiest kind of females can be found at the church and if you are just looking for a fling, perhaps this is not a good hunting ground. You wouldn’t want fire and brimstone be rained upon you. It’s third-leg stirring though knowing the head of the choir unit sings a different kind of tune on your bed most nights.

Technique

Be a newcomer. First identify the church where you know there are a lot of females and join that church. When it is time to welcome the new members, be amongst, look innocent, demure, responsible. Within that period, scout around and see the one that catches your eye. Believe me, the chicks are also scouting you like prime meat. Follow this up by being extremely helpful, volunteer to walk your targets home, drop them off along the way if you have a car. Joining a group in the church would also help, being an information officer is the real deal though because you’d be privy to their phone numbers, addresses e.t.c. Arm yourself with Bible verses, a corny guy like you should especially focus on the Songs of Solomon and quote away when the time arises to drive your wooing skills home. One important fact though is don’t be Mr Goody Two shoes all the way; always possess a dark, naughty, mysterious side to your nature and see the girls sing your names to the high heavens mostly in ecstasy.

BRT Bus Queue

Odd place, right? Don’t dull yourself, you can add to your conquests on this particular queue. Just like the airport, time is of the essence in getting a girl interested in you. The BRT queue is supposed to be a mind-your business place but if you play your cards just right, you could become her business. Before she met you, she might have been more focused on getting to her destination, if you play your game right, your bedroom might be the next port of call.

Technique

Number one rule is to disregard the fact that you are not on four wheels. You can lie yourself out of that if you choose to, infact I recommend that you should, spin a tale about your SUV going through a Pimp-My-Ride procedure. After you have spotted your target, pay her bus fare even if that’s the last cash you have got; your rewards would be reaped later-hopefully. Your command of the English Language should be on-point, go to lengths to assure her you are no Ikorodu road tout in disguise. Try your best to compliment her, comment on her eyes, hair, smile, every other thing except her boobs and buttocks. Be humorous, strike up a conversation about the Nigerian traffic situation and officials; appear mildly disgusted at your surroundings and the fact that you are stuck in it. Don’t appear intrusive, you could ask general and not specific questions so you don’t appear like a stalker. If the girl is sexy and giving you a boner, please endeavour to hide it-PLEASE! Should in any case, the girl decides to alight prematurely while you are still talking, take the risk, follow suit. Afterwards, make her know, she was the reason. Finally, leave with genuine contact details. If in want for a closing line, you could try this: “There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.” Goodluck.

The Library

Shhhhh!!!! That’s what those lame-ass librarians would instruct you when you enter the hallowed sanctuary of the library. As if, that isn’t

enough, big, stupid signs saying the same, are noticeable at all corners. Look around you and you see individuals who are either reading or pretending to, littered around. Brethren, don’t be deceived, this is one of the best hunting ground known to man. If surrounded by so much old books doesn’t strike you as romantic, I don’t know what else will.

Technique

Be armed with any book above the 500 page mark, wear some designer spectacles, a nice sweater and carry yourself like an academic. Walk around; pretend like you thumbing for a book and zone in on your target. Gently interrupt, apologise profusely and take a nearby seat where you can maintain eye contact. Do this for a while or so before initiating conversation, an intellectual discussion I mean. Avoid verbal discussion; try something out of the ordinary by suggesting a scribbled discussion. If you feel the need to actually talk, whisper in her ears. Make your voice husky and make sure your breath smells better than a drenched rat. Make sure the discussion is intermittent; you have to give the notion that you are actually busy also. Besides the girl might actually be studying for a test or exam. In the library, you have the luxury of time, so you don’t need to rush to get her details. I would actually advise you take the risk and even avoid taking her contact details. In reverse, drop yours for her and see if she calls or find out if she would be reading again the next day.

Under-Age Birthday Parties

You probably never saw this one coming. You never wanted to take your younger one, niece, nephew to this party. Total waste of time, boring e.t.c. Who wants to see ten year olds rushing for cake and making a hell of noise? Just as you didn’t want to perform this task, so did a feminine version of you. She probably wanted to watch E! or Fashion TV and can’t be bothered. Take advantage of this dissatisfaction and score a chick you never deemed possible, a hot number you probably never dreamt of catching. Believe me, she has no options and would see you like a Knight in shining armour who has come to save her from boredom. This is the easiest place to pick a girl up.

Technique

Look extremely bored, exasperated even and start a conversation with her. Inter change your bored demeanour with some surreptitious, loving glances at your younger one (even if you feel like beating the shit out of him/her). The loving look is for your target’s benefit, to actually show you are capable of love-ladies find this sweet. Lament on how bringing your ward to the party is affecting something you had planned but quickly chip in that it was all worth it since you have now met her-the target. If you can’t pick a girl up at an under-age party, you have no hope.

The Classroom

I am not saying much about this. You should know what to do. For those that never had the benefit of going to school, the cavalry has come, read the techniques below. But, wait! What’s the point, you have never gone to school so what are you gonna use the knowledge for anyways?

Technique

To get girls in the classroom, you have to be either brainy or a social animal. If you are the brainy/charismatic type, try to be voted Class Rep. Class Rep equals Female Attention. As the Class rep, everything has to go through you. Even if the girls don’t like you, they still need you. Just as Jesus is to God, you are to the lecturers. If you are the brainy one, help the ladies with assignments; risk your neck during tests. Allow them exploit you but get payback by inviting them for bedroom tutorials.

I am tired of advising. I have let a secrets out there, helped your miserable pick-up game. I give permission to print this out and use should the situation arise. You are also free to post testimonies about how this guide helped your game. Later peeps.