Where the 'EFF' are they?

"Lost but found, careless owner, stupid finder." Remember that sing-song public service announcement while you were younger in class? The 'stupid finder' part was inserted by the more cynic kids who were in most cases the careless ones.

Today’s blog focuses on a list of individuals who for unknown reasons (mostly unwise) have disappeared off the radar. They ascended limelight for a period of time and have slowly faded into obscurity perhaps plotting a come-back.

Read and see if you know where the ‘eff’ they are.

Soul-E

With his single, Baba Dey Here, we all thought another Tu-Face had arrived or at least someone to give him stiff competition. He actually even featured on a track with Tu-Face, E be like Say where we all debated on who was better. Back then, Soul-E was never far from media stories, his high profile marriage to a bank manager further raised his status, and he instantly became a role-model for gold-diggers in Nigeria which is no mean feat. Perhaps deluded in his superstar status, Soul-E decided to start up his own ministry and since then trying to find Soul-E is like attempting to locate who farted in a sewer.

Ogbeche

Rewind to the year 2002, Nigeria just had a disappointing Nations Cup falling to Senegal in the semi-finals. Fans were frustrated; we all called for a change and called for Adegboye Onigbinde to lead us to the World Cup. A friendly match with Paraguay was organised because we were drawn in the Group of Death alongside Argentina, England and Sweden. New blood was required, the Finidi’s, Oliseh’s were deemed redundant. A friendly was organised against Paraguay to test our new stars.Paraguay took the lead in this friendly raising our frustrations to fever pitch. It was not until the closing stages of the game that Okocha ensured parity with a penalty in the 82^nd minute. Five minutes later, a young man called Ogbeche attempted an acrobatic overhead kick that narrowly missed. With that kick, he booked his spot at the World Cup. Just with a bicycle kick, he was supposed to be our Moses, our hero, our Messi but look at him now. Where is he? His career seems to have nosedived faster than a pilotless plane and from intense research he is assumed to be playing at OA Kavala. God knows where that is in the world? Moral Lesson- Never deceive millions with a bicycle kick.

Regina Askia

I was young but I wasn’t stupid. I could pick out beauty from miles away and even at that age I lusted after former beauty queen, Regina Askia. She assumed the mantle of queen in my night dreams and if I was old enough to have wet dreams, she would have been the author and finisher. She was an able collector of the baton from Ego Boyo who I loved in Checkmate. Regina’s eyes in Fortunes could make me drop-out of school back then, all she had to do was ask and I would slap the principal and burn the old school down. In a world now ruled by the Genevieve’s, Ini-Edo, Tonto Dike’s, to me Regina still reigns supreme. If anyone knows where she is, please be kind enough to let me set eyes on her again. I could make do with a poster too though.

Azadus

I am sure even the Navy Seal’s Team 6 that did the job on Osama would not be able to locate Azadus wherever he is. At a point in this decade, he was Kennis Music’s poster boy, their hottest star. Not particularly blessed with good looks or diction, he still struck a chord with listeners with his smash hit You is the one which was as hot as how Oleku is at the moment. There is only one man that can locate Azadus at the moment- Jack Bauer!

Craig David

Born to Do it was one album, I could recite from start to finish. It is in my opinion the most ‘Press Play’ album ever. I personally penned down the Southampton born crooner to go places but it was just never to be. The recent successes of Jason Derulo, Tinie Tempah, Chipmunk and others in U.S of A were based on the groundwork Craig David laid down. Never before have I seen so many pirated copies of any individual’s album. I personally had like 5. We are all to blame for Craig David’s downfall; we didn’t help buy any original CD of his. He also has a part to play; putting so many super tracks into one album was overkill. He probably should have spread it over like 4 albums. Pity.

Saint Obi

Before Ramsey Noah, he was. Before Jim Iyke, he was. Before Emeka Ike, he was. Saint Obi was the baddest guy with the swag. You wanted a hit movie, he was your man. Wanted the females to swoon, he was your man. Saint Obi during his peak period must have acted in so many movies in one year than Tom Cruise throughout his whole movie career. The question now is where is Saint Obi and what continent of the world is he? Send your answers to operationfindsaintobi@lostbutfoound.net.







Others whose whereabouts remain a mystery are Ruben Studdard, Freddy Adu, MP, Product G & B, Blu Cantrell, Faith Evans... I am pretty sure i just scratched the surface with this topic. You guys probably know more.Have a splendid, fun-filled weekend.Cheers.